Signs of “Mom Brain” and How to Cope

Have you ever walked into a room, and stood there wondering why you came there in the first place? Or maybe you started tidying a room and ended up working on dishes and then folding laundry? Perhaps you have a color-coded planner, plus digital reminders, and a whiteboard calendar in the kitchen to remind people of key dates, appointments, etc. If any of these things are true, you might have “mom brain.”

Over the past few years, there has been a growing conversation about the mental load that mothers carry. Even married women without children can find themselves carrying more mental load than their husbands no matter how equitably the household tasks are divided.

When women invoke mom brain, they’re typically describing the experience of feeling scattered, distracted, forgetful, or disorganized as a result of being pregnant or having children. The hormones of pregnancy and postpartum have significant impacts on brain chemistry. Plus sleep deprivation can cause a temporary collapse of cognitive function.

Beyond the postpartum period, you may continue to have seasons of forgetfulness, distraction, trouble focusing, and so on. If you are responsible for the well-being of yourself and multiple other people (spouses, children, pets) you are going to burn out if you don’t take proper care.

As a mother, caring for your family is often your top priority, from making decisions regarding school, driving to extracurriculars and appointments, managing a household, and possibly even a job your brain is constantly fluttering from thought to thought.

There are meal plans, groceries, and chores to do (or teach children to do, which is also a process). The sheer amount of brain power directed toward the care and keeping of a family is massive and often invisible.

When left alone, this type of mental load can lead many women to states of anxiety or depression. The stress can take its toll on your health. It also impacts your emotional health, since stress and anxiety can produce a crabby, even angry response when you are overwhelmed and overstimulated.

So how can you cope with your mom brain?

Solutions for “Mom Brain”

Sleep and rest.

Your body needs rest and so does your mind. It is important to try to get 6-8 hours of sleep, allowing your brain to process all the information that it has taken in during the day. It is also good to carve out regular times to rest your brain as well.

Prayer and meditation can be excellent tools to practice quieting your brain. Journaling (a brain dump, a mind map) can be a helpful way of processing all the thoughts that go flying through your head daily.

Personal self-care.

You cannot properly take care of the needs of others if your needs are not being met. Having a hobby that relaxes you can be an excellent way to clear your mind. A lot of arts and crafts have the benefit of improving cognitive ability as well as helping your mind to focus on one task rather than many.

Exercise and nutrition.

Walking is excellent for the mind as well as the body, particularly outside. Moving your body keeps you engaged in the tasks that need to be done. Maintaining a well-balanced diet is also good for your ability to focus and stay on task.

Managing stress.

When you are carrying the mental load of the household it can lead to stress and frustration. It is important to acknowledge your feelings. Talk to your partner and your family about the importance of teamwork.

Ask for help and trust others when you give them a task. It will take time for children to learn to do chores to the standard you desire. Teaching them and trusting them with tasks will benefit both them and you over time.

Remember if people don’t feel trusted they are reluctant to offer aid. They also don’t know you need help if you don’t ask.

Talking it Out

There are times you just need to take the cumulative load out of your head. Journaling or talking with a friend can be helpful. Set expectations of conversations; are you looking for solutions or just a sympathetic ear? Sometimes the process of talking it out can be the best release.

If you are struggling with brain fog, mom brain, or other cognitive issues, our counselors are here to help. Talking to a counselor can help you find your way through the confusion and overwhelm. There are some possibilities of deeper mental health issues. A counselor can help you determine what the best path for you will be. Call today to set up your appointment.