Relationship Issues

Key characteristics of a healthy relationship are mutual respect, trust, honesty, empathy, support, and the ability to give and take. Both partners feel safe expressing their thoughts, feelings, and needs to one another and do it openly and honestly to avoid miscommunications. When they disagree, they try to understand the other partner’s perspective, and either agree to disagree or work it out together in a mutually satisfactory way. Not so with toxic couples. Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option. – Maya Angelou A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is built on conflict, competition, and one partner’s need to control the other to get his or her needs met. The other partner feels unsupported, judged, demeaned, misunderstood, and/or attacked, and his or her physical, mental, or emotional well-being is consistently threatened in some way. Characteristics of toxic couples Toxic couples relate to each other in dysfunctional ways. In most cases, it is one partner trying to control the other. Regardless of the dynamic, however, one common thread appears to be that most toxic couples are intensely drawn to each other despite the pain they inflict on one another. Common characteristics of toxic couples include: Control One partner makes all the decisions and forces his or her will and viewpoint on the other, telling him or her what to do. He or she is unreasonably jealous of their partner, and constantly suspicious and mistrustful of them even when he or she has never given them any cause to be. They may want to track their location and who they are with at all times and try to isolate him or her from friends and family. Emotional abuse One partner uses guilt, shaming, rage, silent treatment, stonewalling, and/or intimidation to manipulate and control aspects [...]

The time you spend getting ready for your wedding is important, but the time you spend getting ready for your marriage is even more important. While you may be busy deciding about cake flavors and reception venues, premarital counseling is one of the best things you can do for your wedding and marriage. Premarital counseling offers the couple an opportunity to discuss important things before they start their married life together. There is no limit to what you can discuss, however, there are some important topics to cover. Some people do this with a pastor or minister at their church. Another option, however, is to talk with a Christian counselor. Meeting with a Christian counselor provides the couple with a trained, unbiased person who can guide them through important topics to discuss before marriage. Connecting with a Christian counselor is helpful because they understand and can offer wisdom from a faith-based perspective. This will help the couple build a strong foundation of faith in their marriage. While you can talk about anything, there are some important questions to discuss during this season: Premarital counseling and what you believe. It is important to start by talking about spiritual matters. For believers, this is the foundation of their identity as individuals and will become the foundation for their relationship. You do not need to agree on every aspect of your faith, but it is important to make sure your ideas fit together. Where do you see yourself? Looking ahead is what the premarital season is all about. It offers you a chance to talk about things like your hopes and dreams. These can be related to what you do, where you live, future family plans, and what type of life you want. Consider going beyond questions about the careers you pursue to [...]