Marriage Counseling

Arguable and unknown are the origins of the childhood rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Children on playgrounds have echoed a variation of that phrase for years, perhaps with the intent to barricade themselves physically and emotionally from the rage of bullies. Though we would like to believe that we are immune to the harm that that sort of communication incurs, it simply isn’t true. Words are powerful, retaining the ability to hurt upon impact. If we haven’t resolved the lingering pain, the memory itself can revive wounds long after the bruises have faded. While our words have the power to harm, they also can be repurposed in alignment with God’s original intent: to bring life, heal, and restore to wholeness. When we use our words well, we sometimes see the immediacy of impact, though other times, the benefits blossom as a result of long-term investment. When words of appreciation are crafted and delivered to admire, uplift, or encourage, we demonstrate the love and action of the Father. Our communication releases light in places where darkness has ruled. The Bible offers sage advice and examples of how to use our words as well as what to avoid. Although these principles are not limited to marriage, they can enhance our relationships and our communication in marriage. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:1, NIV When we cut our hearts off from our spouses, we dampen our ability to hear, receive, and properly interpret the messages that they send. The pain from relational trauma and lingering wounds also distort the words and nonverbal cues that we convey. This can be problematic, not only concerning our marriagesand the state of our households; but the treatment of [...]