Help for Depression: How to Support a Loved One

You can make a serious difference by supporting and encouraging your loved one as they find help for depression and journey toward recovery.

How to provide help for depression

Do you know that depression affects people from all cultures no matter what their age? It affects millions of people across the globe from all levels of society. It is a psychological illness that is serious, affecting not just the people that suffer from it, but also those who care for them, as well as everyone else around them like co-workers or anyone else they are regularly in contact with.

Experiencing difficult emotions is common for those who love someone who is depressed. You may be experiencing helplessness, frustration, guilt, anger, fear, and even sadness.

It is certainly not an easy task trying to help and support a family member or friend with depression and these feelings are perfectly normal. And if you neglect your health, and expend too much of yourself in your efforts to provide help, the task of caring can become overwhelming and relentless.

So while making sure you pour from a full cup, the support and love you show to the person in your life with depression are critical. Receiving help from a trusted source to help navigate the symptoms of depression; work through negative thoughts; figure out how to raise their energy levels; how to find hope and hold onto it; and start to enjoy life again make a key difference to those who are feeling depressed and busy wading through it.

Step 1: Learn all you can about depression.

If you can start learning about depression early on in the support of your family member or friend, then all the better. Coming to an understanding of how to talk about depression to the person in your life affected by it is also important. Increasing your support of someone often means that you will expend energy on providing it. Be sure to put in place habits in your own life that will keep you rested, energetic, and available.

Countless studies have established that depression is a serious condition that should never be underestimated. It has the effect of draining their optimism, motivation, and energy, and it is not something that can be “shrugged off” or “snapped out of” through an act of the will.

It is helpful to remember that the symptoms of depression are not personal. The illness makes it difficult for the sufferer to find a common connection with anyone on a deep and emotional level, and this includes those they love and trust. People suffering from depression do not just feel hopeless and overwhelmed, but they speak like it too.

They say discouraging things that are often hurtful, and with a short fuse, this can be more often than not. As someone helping someone providing help for depression try to not take it personally but recognize it is an illness that needs treatment.

And it is this proactive stance that will make a difference in the long run. Ignoring or sweeping the problem under the carpet will not provide a solution. It does not help anyone if excuses, cover-ups, and lies are said on behalf of the person who is depressed. Rather if they do not need to confront their depressive behavior, they may not get help quickly.

This means the behavior may grow from unresolved negative behavior to habitual character flaws that are undisguisable and much more difficult to deal with as the behavior and thinking pattern that gives rise to it becomes entrenched.

Do not make the mistake that your loved one is unmotivated or lazy, rather they are utterly discouraged. When suffering from depression the thought of performing the acts that will help you to feel better is often just too exhausting. This is why you need patience as you encourage them to take the first small steps toward recovery, and then to keep on taking them.

You cannot fix someone else’s depression, or rescue them from it, however much you want to help them. You also cannot take on the responsibility of recovering from the depression, as you are not the one with it – you cannot take the blame for the depression experienced by someone else. We are each responsible for our own happiness and while can offer love and support, the real recovery is in the hands of the person who is depressed.

Step 2: Recognize symptoms of depression.

It is helpful for communities, families, people managers at work, church leaders, and every person involved in people management to be able to recognize the symptoms of depression so that when these signs are noticed, action can be taken. It is often the case that you notice a change in the behavior of someone you love before even they do, and through their knowledge of your love for them you can compel them to look for help and accept it.

Read through these symptoms of depression and see how many apply to the person you are concerned about:

• Withdrawing from friends, families, and social activities.
• A sharp decline of interest in work and hobbies.
• Battling to focus on work or being willing to take part in leisure activities.
• Not caring about much anymore.
• Pessimistic words and a resigned attitude are common features of depressed people, who are uncharacteristically out of sorts almost all day every day – they are irritable, sharp-tonged, short-tempered, moody, and describe situations like helpless or hopeless.
• Often complaining about having a headache or backache, or stomach problems while feeling drained and tired almost all the time.
• Sleeping patterns are disturbed, and they can sleep much more than usual or less. Sometimes they feel tired during the day despite sleeping well at night.
• Becoming indecisive, disorganized, forgetful, and generally seen as out of it.
• Has recently lost or gained weight, each more or less than usual.
• Self-medicating through substance abuse, over-the-counter medication such as painkillers, or sleeping pills to dull the pain that they are feeling.

Step 3: Encourage them to access treatment.

Many people, especially men, who suffer from depression may struggle to recognize or be honest enough with themselves to acknowledge that they are depressed. And this is a very reasonable reaction, especially considering they may not know the signs and symptoms of depression and could consider their feelings to be normal.

Unfortunately, very often people feel ashamed about the fact that they are depressed and often hold the opinion that willpower is enough to shrug the depression off. But the truth of the matter is that it is an illness that reacts well to treatment, and if none is received it can easily get worse.

These are some established ways that you can use to help them:

• Speak plainly to the person about what you have noticed about them and why you have a right to be concerned.
• Give them some information about depression through credible websites or booklets and explain that it is a medical condition and not a character flaw or weakness. Also, communicate that it most often gets better with treatment.
• Discuss the benefits of getting professional help. Medical doctors or mental health providers like licensed counselors or psychologists are trained to give expert help.
• During the initial appointment with the health provider, there will be several questions about the depression as your loved one understands more about it – make the offer to help them prepare this list.
• Tell them that you are willing to walk this road with them, that you will help should they need to set up appointments, even go along with them, or attend family therapy sessions with them.

Christian counseling for depression

If you’re looking for additional help for depression beyond this article, please browse our online counselor directory or contact our office to schedule an appointment. We would be honored to walk with you and your loved one toward a place of healing and hope.