4 Questions to Ask Your Partner in Premarital Counseling

The time you spend getting ready for your wedding is important, but the time you spend getting ready for your marriage is even more important. While you may be busy deciding about cake flavors and reception venues, premarital counseling is one of the best things you can do for your wedding and marriage.

Premarital counseling offers the couple an opportunity to discuss important things before they start their married life together. There is no limit to what you can discuss, however, there are some important topics to cover. Some people do this with a pastor or minister at their church. Another option, however, is to talk with a Christian counselor.

Meeting with a Christian counselor provides the couple with a trained, unbiased person who can guide them through important topics to discuss before marriage. Connecting with a Christian counselor is helpful because they understand and can offer wisdom from a faith-based perspective. This will help the couple build a strong foundation of faith in their marriage.

While you can talk about anything, there are some important questions to discuss during this season:

Premarital counseling and what you believe.

It is important to start by talking about spiritual matters. For believers, this is the foundation of their identity as individuals and will become the foundation for their relationship. You do not need to agree on every aspect of your faith, but it is important to make sure your ideas fit together.

Where do you see yourself?

Looking ahead is what the premarital season is all about. It offers you a chance to talk about things like your hopes and dreams. These can be related to what you do, where you live, future family plans, and what type of life you want. Consider going beyond questions about the careers you pursue to deeper things like how you want to raise a family, the responsibilities of each spouse, and the role of extended family in your life.

How do you handle finances?

Money is one of the leading areas of contention amongst couples. You and your partner likely have different ideas or ways of doing things when it comes to money. Talking about it now can be helpful. Some key things to address are:

• Bank accounts: Will you have joint accounts or separate accounts?
• Bills: Who will pay the bills? How will you communicate about bills?
• Debt: Do you have any debt going into the marriage? How will you handle it? What debt do you feel comfortable with as a couple (i.e., mortgage, car loans, credit cards)?
• Savings: What are your thoughts on savings? How much should you have? Will you save for a house? How?
• Giving: Do you believe in tithing or donating money to churches or charities? If so, how much? Are you comfortable loaning money to family or friends? Do you have emergency savings?

How will we handle conflicts or issues that arise through premarital counseling?

Every couple will experience conflict. It is important to talk about how you are comfortable addressing conflict. While it’s easy to say you’ll just work it out, that may be difficult sometimes. Discuss whom you are comfortable talking about issues with. Also, consider the role of counseling in your relationship.

Premarital counseling for now and down the road.

A counselor can help you and your spouse with any issues that arise. You don’t need to wait for a big problem to seek help. The Christian counselors in our office are here to help you lay a foundation for your marriage in premarital counseling. We are also available to support you as individuals, a couple, and a family as your needs change.

Begin these important discussions today. Contact our office for a faith-filled counselor that can help you start on the right foot.